What She Could not Say

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You are a ridiculous caricature of excessive vapidity

I honor where you are in your life.

You are a textbook narcissistic power and control parent

I honor where you are in your life.

Your undertones of intimacy with me are uncomfortable

I honor where you are in your life.

You embrace and incite unnecessary drama purely for attention

I honor where you are in your life.

You need a level of support that I cannot provide

I honor where you are in your life.

Because I truly feel the statements above reflect

the most difficult people surrounding me,

and my intentions towards them,

I feel that I must examine what pieces of me they are reflecting.

I am a ridiculous caricature of excessive vapidity.

Please honor where I am in my life

I am a textbook narcissistic power and control parent.

Please honor where I am in my life

My undertones of intimacy with you are uncomfortable.

Please honor where I am in my life

I embrace and incite unnecessary drama purely for attention.

Please honor where I am in my life

I need a level of support that you cannot currently provide.

Please honor where I am in my life

I cannot see all of these things (other than the support needed) in myself, but I know they must be there.  Some version of them at least.  Maybe I AM feeling some feelings other than terror and fear.  I would prefer to feel joy, love, and contentment – maybe those come later (?).

Have you ever spent time turning your “You” ‘s into “I” ‘s ? Embracing empathy? Or, more vapid self reflection?  Ack!  I am not sure.

It doesn’t feel good when reflecting today, living in a swirl of dysfunction.  I hope that I can figure out how to stop the cycle for my sweet bear, SonHerisme.  Or at least allow him the opportunity to contentedly thrive with overall personal satisfaction, feeling embraced with functional and appropriate love and support…

Love, Ms. Herisme xoxo

2 thoughts on “What She Could not Say

  1. Excellent, excellent post. Question: towards the end, where you’ve written ‘I need a level of support that I cannot currently provide…’, I believe that should read: ‘I need a level of support that you cannot currently provide…’. BTW, I honor where you are in your life xxo

    Like

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