Sacramento, CA, West Coast-ish USA, called out to me, at one point in my life. I interviewed for a position there and drove in to Sacramento from San Francisco (because, that’s how I do), passing Vacaville on the way.
I TMBG’d all the way there and all the way back!
I did not get offered the position (boo on you, Sacramento!). However, as the butterfly effect goes, recently I DID go into my local butcher shop at the crack of dawn one morning to pick up 4 cow eyes, 2 cow ears, and one sweet giant cow heart, for SonHerisme’s science time at his Montessori school.
Things I learned (re-learned, as lessons are prone to be):
I appreciate the local farm/butcher traditions and role in the community
I do not like to eat meat
I do not deserve to eat meat, because I could never ever ever ever do what these hardy humans do.
Yes, I moved a giant pile of very clean precision eviscerated innards from my yard (cougar much?), but it was with as much reverence as I could muster as they were FULL and required me to use 2 shovels. I cried for the unidentified guts, placed them into the woods and gently covered them over with dead leaves. I said a prayer that the animal had died swiftly, fed something well, and lived a lovely wild life prior to their drawn and quartering.
I believe that I am in a different place than I was when my gut hated me so much. I am trying to s-l-o-w-l-y embrace my yuck (not other’s gut yuck). With so many struggles, I think that I can let the meat go again. Or not. Just not to guilt myself into a frenzy if I eat it or not. Coffee was recently made redundant as well. I am eyeballing sugar with some serious side-eye, but don’t want to get too carried away (s’mores season).
As my veils and shields that I have spent years wrapping myself in, fall away, my body continues to break down from the relief of unburdening and recognizing my own truths. Melanoma, degenerative discs (current severe nerve pain), arthritis, over-fullness-of-body, tendonitis, etc
Sounds like my guts got lonely and invited other areas of my body to their protestations.
That’s right – I am a barrel of laughs!
Introduce me to all of your single man friends – what a catch!
I’m going down to Cowtown, ‘cause cow’s a friend of me
He lives beneath the ocean, that’s where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves, oh that’s where I will be
‘cause I’m going to see the cow beneath the sea.
(not exact lyrics from the Brooklyn Ambassadors of Love, but this is how I singidty sing it)
Love, Ms. Herisme xo
Also, my melanoma margins were clear! No further action at this point, other than vitamins and stay on my recheck schedule. phew
Also, I am not heading your way anytime soon, Sacramento (sorrys). However, I will possibly take a plastic cow to the pool, throw it to the bottom, and visit it there. Singing!