It’s that therapy/anger management/co-parenting divorce seminar acronym making the meme rounds again.

is it Thoughtful?
is it Honest?
is it Intelligent?
is it Necessary?
is it Kind?

I am a learning active anti-racist and address that we have a lethal epidemic of racism in this country.

Thoughtful? I will actively promote love and acceptance of all humans regardless of race, especially concentrating on those groups who are being oppressed.

Honest? I actively participate in institutionalized and systemic racism every single day and I will do better to call this out and change my behavior, especially by no longer tolerating family members’ racism.

Intelligent? Humans should be treated humanely. FULL STOP NO NEGOTIATIONS

Necessary? YES because we are killing and incarcerating humans targeted because of our systemic racism. These are our neighbors, classmates, soccer buddies, dads, moms, aunties, uncles, friends and fellow humans.

Kind? It is most definitely a kindness to stop hate speech and actions, racist speech and actions. Being kind to racism is never ever necessary. They have no seat at the table – ever. Humane treatment? yes. Kindness? no.

We are killing people – especially people of color – for existing. Until we face the truth of who we are as a culture, we cannot move forward. We cannot sugar-coat the truth of who we are and how we came to be. If this sounds like a “telling you” rather than a “sharing with you,” (and you are white) then stop and THINK yourself for a minute about where you stand in your truth of being an active anti-racist.

The story of Maya Angelou asking someone to leave her home and never return because they made a racist side comment, stuck my heart in such a way that my voice within my own home has become much more firm over the years. This is not an easy road, especially when you are surrounded with abuse, deep denial, and wilful ignorance. However, this is a necessary road for me.

Do you know what 7th grade boys do? They start puberty. They play with LEGO. They think Black Panther and Falcon are the coolest dudes ever. They want extra whipped cream on their ice cream if they can con you into it with their little boy/new teen big eyes. They belly laugh at Chris Pratt slapstick and love the kindness of the dad in Four Kids and It (wish monsters help!). They are learning algebra. They are writing a “dear diary” entry as if they were a witness to the Crusades as a Muslim and another as a Christian. They are coding virtual fantasy amusement park rides. They are practicing real life portrait sketches with shading techniques. They are learning to cut their own toenails. They are writing journalist interviews for characters from Zach’s Lie. They are hugging dogs and kitties. They are still needing comfort when spooky things scare them in the dark. They are dreaming of being powerful compassionate men doing important things one day, and working on practicing those things.

While they still have adults to help take responsibility for them, they are making bigger mistakes to push boundaries in order to figure out how to be.

Justifying or pointing out the humanity of a 7th grade boy should be unnecessary. But, in our culture, it is. A shitty unbelievably popular journaltainment person referred to a 7th grade boy as a “13 year old man,” because the boy was not white and was lethally shot by a police officer in the chest while he stopped running from them and turned around with his hands raised as the police demanded.

Who are we?

Justifying the targeted murders of non-white people. Meanwhile, insisting on spreading a lethal virus in the name of freedom.

My soulgutbrain hurts today.

SonHerisme, 7th grade, will turn 13 this upcoming summer. He is 6ft tall and filling out his shoulders and chest in man ways. His voice has deepened. He is well spoken. With his COVID respectful mask on, he is frequently mistaken for a High School Junior or Senior. He has Hispanic heritage. He still plays manhunt in the dark with his buddies.

I just

I just cannot

Love, ALL OF US xoxo

please, I beg you, give my baby and his peers grace, space, accountability and boundaries for the mistakes they will naturally make, and please DO NOT SHOOT THEM

another thinking thought: When we normalize removing children from their primary caregiver at 6 weeks old and force them to “behave” and “follow school rules” starting at 6 weeks old, when do they have the space and grace to make mistakes and learn from them? When does their learning happen? Where is the appropriate space and grace for them to temper tantrum, break down, make mistakes and safely recover, express their natural raging emotions?!!? Ah, yes, this is another post. ciao