It has been a while.
“May,” you say?
Well, yes, and thank you for noticing.
Like you, I am scrunched, sandwiched, overwhelmed, isolated, lonely, frightened, alive and all of the things.
MrexH’s whereabouts are currently unknown, in case you were wondering.
I tell SonHerisme all of the things that would indicate that we are safe and everything will be okay.
- The last we were made aware of, MrexH was in Puerto Rico and riding out Maria (the storm, get your head outta the gutta), with his parents.
- Puerto Rico is far away from us.
- MrexH’s parents live at the top of a huge hill in a concrete house.
- Hurricanes do not blow down concrete (roofs yes, concrete no).
- They live across the street from a monastery full of nuns and their church.
- The monastery is concrete and built into the side of the hill.
- Nuns are helpers and community support.
- MrexH and his parents have been through hurricanes before (nothing like this, of course, but let’s keep that between you and me).
- As soon as someone has any news of MrexH’s whereabouts/condition and his parents’, they will phone us (it’s what I’m telling myself too).
- We have an alarm system on our house.
- We have our own community of support.
- Mommy is brave and strong (this might be a bald faced lie, but I say it anyway).
This, plus my mother’s continued health issues, plus her doggies had to have surgery (yes, I am caring for them as well), plus regular life crap, equals one stressed out lady (that’s me).
This leads me to how I end up on a screen chat with Chanderdeep from Xfinity Comcast, regarding my current subscription and how I am suddenly blocked from channels that I had a week ago.
Screen time at my house only comes on weekends and accompanied by SonHerisme, who is 9 and mostly wants to play video games with me. Otherwise, I have perhaps 10 minutes on select weekday mornings, to watch a television show that is just for me.
I watch my rare 10 minutes on my first release vintage iPad whilst slowly inhaling the aroma from my coffee and taking lazy sips.
For 10 minutes.
That’s all I need to start off my day.
10 freaking fracking flooming blooming minutes.
(cue doggies wanting out/walked/fed, HerismeMother awakening needing coffee/bandage change/pills, SonHerisme needing cuddles/stories/breakfast…)
Chanderdeep tried his/her best to help me, eventually implementing a temporary fix. I told Chanderdeep how much I knew that the world was suffering, people are suffering, deep painful suffering, and my first world problems were selfish and stupid. What I didn’t tell Chanderdeep, was about my sacred 10 minutes. I didn’t tell Chanderdeep that SonHerisme and I have been at risk for murder and my brain needs a break. I didn’t tell Chanderdeep how my mother screams and cries when I have to change her bandage twice each day and my brain needs a break. I didn’t ask Chanderdeep how he/she was doing. I didn’t ask Chanderdeep how I could alleviate some of his/her suffering or daily life pain that we all experience.
I thanked Chanderdeep.
I wished Chanderdeep a successful remainder of his/her work shift.
I wished Chanderdeep a lovely peaceful life.
Chanderdeep wrapped up the conversation asap, as you can imagine you might if some strange lady wanting cable access suddenly dived into a place of wierdo-schmierdo-I-want-validation-for-my-sellfish-needs place.
So, yes, I am struggling with more than cable access (which I haven’t even dignified with finding time to watch for those 10 freaking minutes as SonHerisme’s nightmares have returned post-hurricane convo), Chanderdeep. I am sorry that you have to listen to looney tunes such as myself.
I might be spiraling a bit.
Truly, from my heart, I send you tons of peaceful successful vibes and my hopes that someday I will redeem myself to you. For now, I say, “Ciao, Chanderdeep,” until another day, my screen chat Xfinifty guide.
Love, Ms. Herisme xoxo