I have been thinking that if I were to place my priorities into a garden, these are the things I would tend to first (not in order of significance):
Health SonHerisme Relationships Career Artistic Expression Home Adventure
Really trying to nail down the things during this Summer of Strength. Well, loosely nail as I am prone to removing all nails thinking that will bring me freedom – which, it rarely does since I am frequently pulling out nails I have no business touching as they do not belong to me. You know how it goes. Focus on everything but yourself to feel any sense of control at all, justifying ignoring your own needs, then shame and regret *repeat.* You feel this – no?
Well, I do feel it and I am heartily soulfully sick of it.
Confession: I have been sick of it for a lonnnnnnnggg time and I do not know if this time I will be able to choose growth consistently. I think I will have to make an intention to do so every day or perhaps multiple times each day? Maybe this is part of the battle I’ve mentioned before (I don’t remember the post, apologies!). This sounds like an addict trying to give up whatever drugs, alcohol, sex, food, shopping etc. Perhaps it is the loneliness, need to feel some control somewhere, shame, hyper trauma response or ? that makes us all feel this similar pattern? Or just a part of maturing up in life? I’m not a mental health professional, so I’m truly stabbing at guesses here.
I have added intentional reading each day, extended yoga practice, a pressure point mat, and at least two flights of stairs. “Added” might not be correct. I’ll rephrase to say, I am intentionally doing these things as they have already been in my life hither and thither – just not intentionally incorporated into my days.
I’m printing out my garden priorities, otherwise I will instantly forget them as soon as I leave this post. When I was doing yoga, I couldn’t remember by the next day if I had done yoga or not – heck, I can’t even remember if I’ve done yoga in the morning by the time I hit the pillow at night!
Carry on peace warriors
Love, Ms. Herisme xoxo
ps. please take good care around that Delta COVID variant – I am sending bubbles of health out to you and your loved ones. My heart wants to grab everyone and bring them to my house for safety and a delicious meal. I have two blow-up beds which do not help the world pains, but maybe a neighbor’s pain which is the same. {hugs}
Also, thank you for reading/listening and not judging my spinach addiction which I am about to indulge again lol
HERISME 