One of SonHerisme’s buddies since babytimes turned 13 a few days ago, and also had her Bat Mitzvah. It was a COVID style celebration with zoom services (except for the young lady and her immediate family) and an outdoor drive-by celebration at home with an option to park and stay, unmasked if vaccinated, masked if not vaccinated. There were unvaccinated children, so we opted to remain masked, just in case. Save the babies!

I parked because I wanted a photo of SonHerisme and his babytimes buddy. They were both adorably uncomfortable, very sweet and super generous to cooperate with my photo request. Everyone is turning into teenager adult-prep times. Squeezy squishy human morphers! I also parked because I wanted to give a huge hug to the young lady’s awesome mom – one that’s been on hold for over 18months. And I did. I have missed my friends. I have missed the hugging. I got so carried away that I also hugged her ex. He’s the father of the lovely young lady, and a former member of our merry troop of parents. I say “former” because he mid-life crisis-ed himself into a divorce and total life relocation to Florida, so our community interactions with him are very rare. Although as a busy musician he’s easy to follow on the socials, it just isn’t the same. *sigh* Back in the day when we all thought life was on a certain path that it never was…

Me:  Congratulations!  She's a lovely young lady and I am so honored to be here to celebrate with you all!
He:  Yeah.  Look at me, I'm just the baby daddy.
Me:  You should get a t-shirt with that on it so that everyone understands your role here.
He:  Ha ha ha, yeah maybe.
Me: (in my head - holy shit, I am a bitch and wtf and now it's time for me to leave)

And I did leave after giving the final rounds of hugs and congratulations, we left. All of the AWKWARDS.

Another awkward this morning – MotherHerisme’s cardiologist asked me if I was married yet. I heard him speak and I heard the words, but I could not respond – I think I froze. He asked again. I responded, “oh, no, married? no.” “Oh. I wondered because I asked your mother how you were doing every time we had telehealth appointments.” I just could not say anything because I did not know what to say, so I didn’t. The appointment otherwise went well. MotherHerisme is fine – her heart is tick-tocking in the manner it should be. But this. This was the AWKWARDS.

I’m best at not being seen, even though as a human I would like to be seen. I excel at not being seen. It’s my jam. I guess at least I didn’t make a snarky remark, scream, cry, or run away. All of which I suspect are realistic options, considering it was me there. Maybe next time you can take MotherHerisme? Kidding – I’ll take her. Somehow I like the return after an awkward encounter. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to show back up despite the awkwards. It’s all of my years of Oprah channeling to get through the really terrifying awkward rough spots, I suppose. Or maybe the maturitys again…

Yes, I am pluraling things on purpose despite grammar rules because StarFire helps everything turn into the funnys rather than just weird discomfort.

Yes, I am grateful for the awkwards. They not only provide occasional entertainment when recalled (unless they are scary as frick), but they also give me pause and notice about where I am in this life experience. Like a touch back to the reality of humaning rather than constant survival mode. Humans gotta Human. We can do this… sometimes we can do this… very occasionally we can do this… it’s okay to sometimes not be able to do this – right?

Hahahahha – my friend just texted me and asked if the cardiologist is an old white dude. He isn’t, and I am pretty sure he is married, but that gave me a giggle.

Embracing being grateful for the awkwards reminding me that I am human.

Love, Ms. Herisme xoxo

ps. I have a lot of awkwards, obviously the nature of being me, so these are not anomalies, just recent experiences.

(hi Peter!)