Hue Amour

(perhaps too soon, too much. mostly a bunch of us are idiots)
(or listen here)

Today I thought of a color which does not exist… it was just a pigment of my imagination.

Not mine, but funny in a sweet mommy joke kind of way. At least in my house it is classified thusly. Mommarificous Sweetiness Funniceums Totalis Occulus Reparo and all that jazz.

Often the things I am writing about are uncomfortable and may lead you to believe that I am full of gloomy doomy heaviness. Which, of course, I am because I am an adult human lady single parent who has had life experiences outside of the plastic Disney picture we like to sell y’all not in the know irl. Instagram much?

I do wonder sometimes how I missed the boat with falling into massive amounts of self destructive behaviors. It seems like it might be cathartic to throw oneself down into those depths of experience IF there is an opportunity to climb out triumphantly and continue walking on a NewPath of generally satisfying life experiences. That’s how it works – right? Was it the time I almost got us murdered? Perhaps I am doing self destruction and I am unaware. But, I have seen those movies: wife dies, husband goes on drinking/sex binge until he accepts grief and moves forward; husband abandons wife, wife goes glam/workaholic ignoring kids until she accepts grief and moves forward getting her groove back etc. Or my favorite (generous eye roll) the new blended family struggles of love and acceptance while the absent parent(s) possibly self destruct. We watched a family movie with the blended family element last night at the request of SonHerisme. It turned out to be a chest gut punch for me. I just cannot seem to move into a realm of possibility as far as establishing any movement with personal relationship. Maybe that is my self destruction, maybe it’s COVID. Well, anyway, who knows… I cry, mentally beat myself up while cleaning/obsessive list making, refocus on what needs doing (single parents doing the things), and, when I have the energy to, find something funny for comfort.

There is a lot of funny out there. A lot more accessible funny since we have been globally COVIDed.

David Sedaris, Mindy Kaling, Ken Jeong, Amy Poehler, Will Ferrell, Sarah Silverman, Burns and Allen, Wanda Sykes, Ricky Gervais, Amy Schumer, Ali Wong, Patton Oswalt, Katherine Ryan, David Letterman, Tina Fey, Tig Notaro, Stephen Fry… and so many more… added the next day: Greg Davies and Kristen Wig and Kristen Bell and all the Gregs and all the Kristens!

My go-to atm are Graham Norton clips with comedic guests – quick giggles, done. I recently stumbled on Man Down on Netflix. FUNny stuffs. Some of the comedies are hard for me because they’re all, “oh my silly adorable husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend did this silly adorable thing! Love makes the world go ’round! Smoochy smoochy!” (uh-oh, beast boy AGAIN) Yes, Teen Titans Go! is a very hilARious show, and does not pretend to be Spanish or Spanish adjacent for all of you hopped up on that ridiculous non-news news. The power of Teen Titans is great (for me, at this time in my wacky life).

I’m also up for funny podcasts. There is a British podcast where the comedians have people on to describe their ideal meal components. I cannot remember anyone’s name (host or guests) because my brain is broken and I am too lazy to look them up. You can google it if you’re into the ridiculousness of choosing appetizers, main course, drinks, desserts etc. There was one guest who refused to choose an appetizer because they thought appetizers were unnecessary. I am in complete agreement with this UNLESS you are a parent with a young child just trying to survive a meal you did not have to think about, prepare or clean up. Then, it’s appetizer order as you’re seated to keep that sweet baby satisfied and engaged while mommy gets a damn solid minute – maybe. Children going to restaurants is a whole other discussion. Appetizers in general – not for me unless it’s ordered as my meal. Didn’t you all see that South Park with the appetizers years and years and years ago? It really drove home the ridiculousness (as humor often does with hard subjects) of appetizers. You can google that too if you are interested, Kenny.

I love funny things. I love to laugh. I think we all do. I think we could all do with a good laugh right about now. What is your favorite funny person/show/podcast? Do not bother saying Talladega Nights because that is everyone’s funny already.

The illustration at the top is from a book gifted to me which I have carried from move-to-move-to-move-to-move for over 25 years. Uncle Shelby’s ABZ Book, by Shel Silverstein (Light in the Attic, The Giving Tree etc). Every so often I pull it down, read it through, and laugh out loud because it is so very stupidly middle school humor funny. On the last page of the book he writes, “P.S. The paper in this book is not really paper… It is made from candy. The End.”

Perhaps this is my appeal to funny people to please make more funny if you can muster up the energy to do so. I subscribe to Netflix, Amazon and Hulu – so please let them pay you bazillions for your work. I will watch it and then send you a lovely thank-you note!

Sincerely, Ms. Herisme xoxo

ps Substitute your device instead of TV as a fitter ending for this missive and possibly much more dignified than my selfish plea for funny content to distract me with moments of giggle fits from my reality…

T is for TV.

See the nice TV.

The TV is warm

The TV is funny

The TV is sad

The TV loves you

Did you know there are little elves who live inside the TV

The Elves can dance

The Elves can sing

The Elves can tell jokes

If you take Daddy’s hammer and break open the TV you will see the funny little Elves.

What will you name them?

-Uncle Shelby

pps my favorite (favourite) color (colour) is green (verdant)

ppps please, please, please wear a damn mask in public

3 thoughts on “Hue Amour

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