I am back for a hawt minute – or a cold minute, a windy minute, a smooth minute, a tap dance minute a sparkling minute or just a damn minute.
I would like to share something with you. The blog needed to rest because I panicked. WordPress provides stats on the blog which track the countries, downloads and visits to the blog through the WordPress platform. For whatever reason, I began to look at the stats tracker after each post. At some point before the holidays, the posts were being viewed and the audio downloaded like crazy to places like England, Ireland, Sweden, Germany, Finland, Canada… also Pakistan and China, but I assume those are bots (apologies for this gross cultural bias).
I mentioned these upticks to a friend who suggested that this might be because I was tagging and linking to prominent people’s names/websites. She also said that any decent PR firm would be tracking their client’s or potential client’s hits as well. This was unsettling information to me. I am not sure why since I do not know and will not personally know any of these people. I was/am just unsettled and then began checking the tracker more frequently to see if I tagged certain things. Would there be views or downloads from particular countries etc.? And also WHO the HECK are these people?!? Are they you? Again, I am not quite sure why exactly this is unsettling. If I am so bothered, why am I posting on a public blog to the InterWorlds?
The other thing I noticed was that as the anxiety surrounding the constant crazy during the White House transition, my voice changed from a sharing voice to a telling voice. I have no authority to be telling anybody anything, yet I did it anyway and this too unsettled me. Who the absolute f^ck did I think I was telling people things?!? Why are people in England listening to the telling? Why do I care?
I have no idea about any of it.
Shares: I intend on getting the COVID vaccine asap. When I send the next batch of court ordered weekly progress reports to MrexH regarding SonHerisme, I will be sending 7 reports including the 268th progress report. 268 weeks of sending reports. Also, SonHerisme is being asked to zoom with MrexH and show him his lego collection. He has not seen his father in real life since the first week of September 2014. Everything is feeling unsettled atm. I mean, I’m sure we are fine. Everything is fine – right? I mean, people are doing the things, right? People are arguing over chores, falling in love, preparing tea and meals for each other, planning lives, doing the things (COVID sensitively) and all that – right? Getting tires checked? Reading fiction, watching television shows? We’re doing that stuff out there, humans – right?
I know it is my ego pulling me into anxiety (New Earth whoop! whoop! *high five* plus dancey dance). Trying to do the next right thing.
So that is exactly that for now. Back to present and breath and adding embroidery to salvage a beloved shirt.
Today is sunny with an evening chance of wintry mix and a guaranteed Friday night Pizza fest! I hope that if you are from England, France, Finland, India, right close to me or wherever and you have stumbled upon my little moment in the InterWorlds, that you are feeling loved, blessed, comforted and full of health!
Love, Ms. Herisme xoxo
ps. SonHerisme, 12, has hit 6ft tall, size 13 shoes and I am having deep deep super deep pregnancy/baby wants. This will not happen in this lifetime *sigh.* I thought my life would be full of having babies running wild. It was not meant to be for me. Maybe this is my final grief stage for what never will be. I have a friend who is a mommy to six sweet things and I am taking dinner to them tonight. This will have to be enough for me and my singleton SonHerisme. I can do hard things.
Also this is Straight Buggin’!